I hate my life. Not my family or any of my friends but I just hate the way I’ve made my life suck. I’m such a disease, I’m the reason that everything becomes messed up and broken. I hate myself and all I want to do is just escape and be at peace with myself for a while.
Everything I do hurts people. I can’t deal with all the hate anymore. I can’t deal with the crying, the screaming, the constant battle with my thoughts, the looks, the whispers, the silence, the judgement. I’m just done. Not even my best friend understands what is going on inside my brain and the fact that not one person truly cares makes me feel worse about myself but in some strange way I like the fact that no one cares because at least then I’m not being a burden or an attention seeker. I feel so rebellious and unsure of myself. I’m not myself and I’m never going to be the same again. Am I just destined to be sad forever?
I’m sick of people asking me if I’m okay because I don’t know how to answer that without causing a scene and I hate lying, I’ve been asked what’s wrong with me at least five times in the past hour! If I continue to get asked stupid questions then it’s just going to enrage me. Leave me alone. Don’t ask me stupid questions.
My life is a reoccurring nightmare. I can’t wake up from it. Even when I’m asleep I’m having a nightmare. I can act happy but inside I want to scream. I’m so angry at the world, I need more people who understand what I’m going through, who can help me. If I ask you for help and you say that you’re living proof that things get better, you’re full of bulls**t. That never makes me feel better, you’re lying. You have no sense of what I’m going through because you’re not me. You don’t understand. No one does. I guess I’m just too complicated for anyone to love.
Lol
xoxo
Page 29 out of 365.
Dream Live Lol 